By William Stixrud, Ned Johnson

This is a book for parents, but also perfectly helpful for adults who'd like to understand how our brain serves us to be self-driven. After all, we are our own parents when we are grownups.

Actionable Takeaways:

Set electronic devices screentime limit
Exercise and meditate everyday
Let go and have a plan B mindset

The Book in 3 Sentences

To be self-driven, one needs to

Keep a growth mindset
Create a self-driven environment
Avoid being stressed

The Book Has Taught Me

How the brain works when you learn, respond and stress. How to facilitate the development of the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus
The methods to avoid stress
The healthy and productive ways of working

Get the book from ➡️ Amazon UK

Highlighted Notes

What is "self-driven" growth

The internal drive to perform better. Being autonomous rather than being driven from external pressure.

Why stress is bad

High stress or chronic stress will

Inhibit the prefrontal cortex (rational decision-making and self-control)
Stimulate the amygdala (defending mode, the animal instinct)
Weaken hippocampus (memory and learning)

一旦我们遭遇威胁，我们就没法思维清晰，也不能有逻辑地好好思考。我们只会拼了命地逃跑，扎稳马步准备开打，或者干脆躺下。

Become "Self-Driven"

Growth Mindset

Motivation comes from within and does not depend on the praise and commendation of others.

Self-determination Theory

Autonomy ⬅️ Intrinsic motivation, willingness to pursue challenges
Competence ⬅️ Achievable goals, being proud for oneself for small progress
Sense of belonging ⬅️ Support and love

Dopamine ⬅️ Interest + expectation

Flow ⬅️ Challenging tasks + focus

How to avoid being stressed

Avoid passing on or being exposed to "second-hand pressure"
Every time you replay a scene in your mind, it will have less of an impact
Exercise: aerobic > anaerobic. Dancing, yoga, martial arts, horse riding, fencing, drumming, rock climbing.
Social support
Music
Eat well and sleep well

Repetitative training (break down time and tasks)

Get Things Done
Make Time
Meditate (Mindfulness / Zen)

技术的突破通常让人们更多地去工作而非腾出更多的空闲。只要做起来容易，我们就会做。技术挤占了大脑本该用来培养健康的控制感的时间。你使用的新技术越多，你的自我调节能力和执行功能水平就越糟糕。自我调节能力和执行功能水平，是获得成功的能力。

社交媒体将控制权从你手中夺走，还转交给你周围的人：社交媒体把我们的注意力从我们自己的经历上转移开来，重新定位到其他人对我们经历的种种看法。

（社交媒体）让人们被卷入一种基本的心理效应——间歇性强化。通过间歇性强化，就算不知道每次执行某个操作时是否会获得奖励，你还是可能会不断去做。

Remedy: plan on electronic devices usage; get back to nature.
Avoid multi-tasking

Multi-tasking：低效，犯错，慢；限制深层思考和抽象思维，限制想象力；提高皮质醇水平=制造压力。

Plan B mindset: gives you a better understanding of the problem and a chance to relieve stress

Let go of yourself

Encourage yourself as you would your best friend; don't use self-demeaning language to yourself.
Switch to a positive rephrasing. The feeling of loss of control often comes from catastrophic interpretations.
When in trouble ask yourself: Is it a big problem, or a small one? What is the worst that can happen if Plan A fails? What about a Plan B?